Choosing Hope by Ginny Dennehy

Author:Ginny Dennehy
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
ISBN: 9781771000352
Publisher: Greystone Books
Published: 2013-05-27T21:00:00+00:00

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Riley

THE MONTHS AFTER Kelty died had been rough for Riley. In June 2001, she came home from school and told us that she wanted to go to the Notre Dame summer hockey school with her cousin from Calgary. Riley was a good player, had been from the start, and she played forward for the Whistler Winterhawks. Hockey was a rough sport for someone with her history of illnesses, but Rye worked hard at whatever she did. After Kelty died, she changed the number on her jersey to seventeen to honour him. Her Notre Dame request surprised us, but we agreed, and off she went.

She loved the hockey school, and when she came back she informed us that she wanted to go to Notre Dame that fall for Grade 10. I was screaming inside. It was as if she was following her brother’s lead, and I couldn’t face it. I was afraid to let her go, worried about feeling even more empty than I already did. But Kerry and I talked about it, and I relented. Even though she didn’t articulate it, I knew it was Riley’s way of escaping the grief and the too-visible memories of Kelty.

Toward the end of August, I flew with Riley to Notre Dame. Just like I had done for Kelty, I got her settled into her dorm room. Letting my other baby go was harder than I could have imagined. I had a lump in my throat as I watched her walk around the campus; I was proud that she was maturing into a beautiful young woman but scared about what the future might hold.

Riley liked her new school, and in our frequent phone chats she seemed to be doing well, both in her studies and in her social life. Then, just before Thanksgiving, she called home in tears. A girl in her dorm, a girl she knew from summer hockey camp, had committed suicide. Riley was devastated. She didn’t want to stay at Notre Dame. We got her on the next flight out and picked her up at the airport the next day. I squeezed her so hard when I saw her that I’m sure she thought I would never let go.

Riley returned to Whistler Secondary, and at first it was as if she had never left. She was playing hockey again and snowboarding with her friends. But her grades started slipping, which was unusual. She seemed concerned mostly about things that didn’t matter, like how she looked, and we couldn’t get her to talk about what was bothering her.

That Christmas, our first without Kelty, Kerry decided we should rent out our house to tourists for New Year’s Eve. We didn’t want to go too far afield, so for fun we rented a cabin in the Whistler campground, and three of Kelty’s friends from Notre Dame—Noah, Neal, and Hughie—joined us. We called them the Lost Boys. It was as if we had three Keltys staying with us, playing pool in the communal area, horsing around and bringing back to us, ever so briefly, a delightful piece of our son’s life.

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